Things have changed a bit over the past week. Don is doing really well in his job, is liked and has a lot to contribute to the work they are doing. I have honestly never heard him so hopeful and happy, probably ever before. Where he is, there is no time to smoke cigarettes, nor any place, so he quit that. Yeah. I am married to a former smoker, as he has quit now. That's been his business, and though I was certainly never a fan, I am not someone interested in controlling another person. We had a filter for him to smoke inside when he did, an industrial warehouse version in a thousand square feet. He quit the other things being in Colorado entails as well, from drinking to the smoking of the obvious.
Not to be left behind, I also locked away the weed. I haven't had alcohol in days, which is most definitely a change as well. We both have been sweating our asses off as of late--sleeping while coming off an addiction is pretty difficult. And weed and alcohol are definitely things I would say were more frequent than exercise or really much, aside from ...
My birthday was Monday. I am not sure it was an aortaversary--that might have been yesterday given I was in surgery on my birthday and woke up several days later. This was year 24.
I am not particularly nostalgic with time, anniversaries, even birthdays I suck with, my own and others. Being nostalgic for time is not something ingrained into me as a kid, and as I got older, just even having any at all seemed lucky. I have watched enough people around me die of less in my life--I am not ungrateful for it, it just seems kind of wrong to celebrate anniversary years--somehow psychologically it seems unsound to mark yearly passes. I suppose I should be celebrating surviving, but I guess I have never been able to thrive. Surviving is just what happens when you don't give up. And I never ever fully have--though clearly I have had some obstacles along the way impeding some of my forward movement.
I even forgot my marriage anniversary--calling it a wedding would be suspect since it was just a paper signed in a lawyer's office. But it was 2/17/17. I was off by 8 days. hahaahah. Of course this is only ...
Alright party animals, I mean friends of the internet. It is happening soon, the thing I promised for so long. Why now? Well Don did something cool and set me up with a fantastic setup for that thing, above. Man I will tell you what, seeing yourself on camera was not something I have practiced a hell of a lot for maybe what, 15 years ago was the last time I used a webcam with any regularity and then, then it was for sure every day. I am not sure if that is something I need to do, should do, whether I am going to do it every day. After years of promises, I know, right. But it might be my only way to connect for the next bit. He's gone just before my birthday, well not here and easily accessible every day, until the Spring. I did want that, the Spring with him conscious the same hours I was, but certainly did not expect to have to lose him entirely. I guess these are the sacrifices that will be worth it, one hopes. Though I did tell him even before this happened money was not everything and ...
