These entries discuss heart surgery, recovery and other related comments.


pain and strain and the mundane

I did the class on blogs and learned I should entitle these entries such innocuous and flowery shit, but I still have a tendency towards poetry, though a lot of it has been washed out of my mind with those big surgeries I had in 2006. I forgot to mention one of my exes from…

expiration and respiration

I tried to call this morning to check on that little thing sitting in my uterus. Lo and behold there are no options for women who have no health insurance to get lesions in their uterus removed. The clinic I called was nice enough–they would be charging me $300 for my first appointment to discuss…

“Only 1” is better than None

It appears the leg I had, the right leg I had is now 1/3 as fantastic as it was, having two vessels cut off to the lower leg which will mean I am left semi-functional and yes, fucking gimpy to some extent if the leg doesn’t fail entirely at all.I have to say I have…

a clot is a knot is a spot

Oh and I have those for sure. It appears I somehow manifested a clot down there, it shot down not up, guys–and it is cutting the blood off to the leg and since I also do not want to lose the leg, as was suggested, time to get that sucker blasted. Tomorrow it is.Lame, you…

not dead yet

I think I have used that title more than a few times in my life, always surprised as anyone I make it through certain things. Right now I am focused on my focus and brain to make it all better since certain factors physically I am inept to control. The leg hurts, sure, but since…

my advice sometimes is a little lengthy…

You know, the more I write the more I wonder why the fuck I am not writing more frequently, but also I notice some of the things I have written lately I have repeated in terms of sentiment and meaning. Always to help, never to hinder, anyone who knows me this is who I am–very…

marching into time

I still do those what I used to think were clever plays on words though most people…of course I was going to write most people do not give a fuck what I write. Of course most people don’t, my god. I am not some hero, but rather an antagonist in some situations and I guess…

The Reluctant Survivor

One thing I think is not widely accepted, or talked about with these kinds of events we can endure, is how sometimes it’s not always a revelation or gratitude we all feel for having survived this. I am speaking for those of you who just were living your lives, maybe didn’t even have anything the…

the idea$$$$$

Okay, so I figured out some things, having really taken a deep look at our finances, or mine, for that matter, since I am the one without the resources and really, without a hell of a lot of the hope you’d think a grown adult with no children would have the space to have. I…

experience vs expectation

Well guys, that thing I mentioned I might elaborate on later came to fruition, sending me into a bit of a tailspin.So my experience with my first surgeries and the like traced back to that rowdy month, October 1995 when my first dissections ripped through my body and altered my path forever. When I first…


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