Sadness and Loss

So my grandmother isn’t doing any better apparently. Her sudden turn has me going back to 2001 and 9/11 actually. See, she was supposed to outlive me. I know, pushing 90 seems like a strange comparison to my life, but I’m already more than broken inside, my physical everything is a bit of a mess…

context and empathy

I realized something last night thinking about my grandmother and her husband. He died on Monday and she is now in hospice and things are not looking great for her. I know I always say I don’t believe in regret, but our letter writing campaign is maybe only a year old and I should have…

Learning SEO, WP

Wow, I feel like an absolute ass. The more classes I take, the more I learn my mistakes haven’t been small or insignificant. They are huge, massive misses in a world where I have had access to all the tools but haven’t been able to figure out how to use them correctly.All good, I’m finally…

so apparently I’ve been doing this ALL wrong

I have been taking those classes lately and realized nobody gives a fuck about reading my daily musings for the most part. I guess, sure, some of you might be slightly amused over the years but generally speaking, the past’s interpretation or really my own regarding a blog being an online diary isn’t what people…

dogs aren’t cheap

Well, one thing I can say about moving back to the East coast is there is a heck of a lot more to get dogs sick here. In Colorado the worst you’d have to worry about is burned paws because the asphalt can get that hot. Or, of course, a dog attack, but most of…

alcohol and ozone don’t mix

I’ve had an itchy throat for a week because of the ozone machine. It’s in the bathroom, see, a solution Don came up with because he’s been trying to quit smoking, and in a community where that’s banned, it was the best way to cover up the smell. I know, I have the Medify filters,…

The gay boys are ALWAYS the best

If I think back over my life over the past two decades, I can honestly say the people who have had the most positive impact on my social life have always ALWAYS been the gay boys. Meeting Bjorn in the PATH train that day about 2 decades ago was a life changer and the way…

self pity works for 30 seconds at a time

So maybe it took more than thirty seconds to write that last post. So maybe I have been feeling like a garbage can full of nothing for a long time. The point is I am definitely someone who has not hit her high. I am absolutely someone who hasn’t achieved anything close to her full…

do we see ourselves only through our reflection in others?

I read an article the other day that really hit home about a man who had spent a few years in isolation and how he lost sense of himself because he never talked to anyone at all after being offered a cheap place to live far and away from everyone. Apparently his closest neighbor was…

Today is my Birthday

Today I turned 44. I started writing some epic post about how I was in surgery 25 years ago. How I almost died, how I have had to repeat it 7 times, and the experience is to be repeated again, supposedly soon.Soon is anytime before 10 years or so. At that point I am good,…


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