I survived but never wished I sometimes didn’t before this one.
I know, how irresponsible and ungracious, right? This surgery kicked my ass. First of all I was in ICU over a week & I am still in a terrible amount of pain too much for me to remember what it feels like to feel good. I did get them to help me go through multiple bottles of painkiller, there was no chance they were getting away with prescribing me a headache medicine when my chest got cracked open for the 3rd time. I am now finishing a lyrica and tramadol prescription & the pain still isn’t under control so, fuck, really.
My 6-7 hour surgery took 13 hours. Ungodly pain when they woke me up. the fentanyl button every day but the last 2. Almost 2 full weeks I was in there.
I also got a pacemaker, which I did NOT want because I have that PEMF mat I need to get rid of. Or use just with the heat and none of the zip. They also underestimated the pain w/2 surgeries in 3 days. The pacemaker took them about 3 hours to find a place and they stretched through the top of my crescent scar on my chest. Ouch.
Plus those things only last a decade and whatever, but I think they have mine turned up too high anyways. I didn’t take my Ambien last night so was up daydreaming with my eyes open in the dark some weird weird shit. Both upper arms are sore, spine and sternum too but nothing localized enough to do anything about.
I’m gonna do the podcast I think since my voice got wrecked being intubated twice in a few days after already suffering through full vocal chord paralysis from the one before. It’s there with enough amplification, but still.
I had some advice from Twitter to do a GoFundMe to get out of the country bc we all know I am not long for this life-someone else said Patreon and maybe that’s the solution since I have what over half a dozen different surgeries to comment on. I have the birthmother incidents, I’ve got my own abortion to fully disclose, I have opinions on a lot of shit so maybe some people may listen. I definitely hold the right to change my mind and correct myself, of course.
I have a paypal at this website @gmail. com but I don’t feel like anyone owes me anything hence why I want to make a bunch of stuff to fund it out.
Some people are pretty mean and pretty bitter so I’m not sure I should go a gofundme route when kids are hungry, people are out of work and seem to need help everywhere you turn. Clearly my situation has years of reference points to I would have to be a pretty crazy person to fake this or my YouTube channel.
Anyways, I have to take a class at CFU bc I take classes all the time and it’s fun. Then I will know how to do it.
