a question of firsts and lasts and middle pages

Today I am spending time with B...this B who has been my most consistent advocate in Colorado, the family I never had--she invites us to Thanksgiving Christmas and New Year's every, year just about. We're pretty isolated from the world, me and Don--we have very few people close to us and even now we feel kind of like un-tethered things. I am trying these other little things I've mentioned to get us a little more, no really a LOT more freedom than we've had and as a result I've been a bit distracted in my own world. Prior to my new ventures and interests I was spending an inordinate amount of time studying things like ghosts and contemplating things beyond my understanding, namely life after death. This is what I spent a good portion of my summer doing...reading and watching and trying to conceptualize the idea of spirit separated from religion. I have told many people that I don't feel like I need the gimmick of a god or anything too organized behind written scripture to believe the things I do. I suppose a lot of what woke this up for me was watching that damn show Monica the Medium, which ...