Soooo. You know I love being an experiment--actually that isn't true, but let's just say that in this life I have felt the need to be my own best advocate. I've experimented on myself over the years trying to find a balance and solution to my issues--the health issues are certainly way more fun to try and solve over the abandonment ones--that's been my biggest weakness is feeling that from literally everyone, and the heart issues seem to exist as a metaphor to that, a manifestation of my busted heart, searching and stretching for love and acceptance.
So let's go back to the self-experimentation. Sooo. The mat. I'm gonna tell you something about the mat. It both fascinates and terrifies me because I can feel it when it's on, I know when it's off, and this is not the heat issue--this is just the PEMF. I can feel its pulsing little surges underneath all that stone when it's activated via the controller, and I can even feel a difference in surge levels. I did yoga at about 9:05 earlier. Do I feel better as it's not even 10? I do. Could this thing be a magical solution for ...
Today's plan is clean this place up. I'll update later if it's worth remarking on visually. My mother-in-law got me a ridiculous recliner. I mean, it will be the nicest thing to sleep in and recover from surgery in. The problem is, because I am Queen nosy, my gift was revealed--which is not a bad thing given the change I requested today on it. The chair she bought for me was custom-built for me, but the chair that we should have gotten was custom-built for us both. I thought it would be a terrible thing to have a chair in here that would not accommodate us both, especially in the instance of what happens if I die? Then an expensive custom-built chair for me sits as a reminder of my non-existent recovery and even person--and he can't even get any comfort out of it. I would not do that to anyone--and see, this is why being nosy about your gifts can pay off. I know, it's rude. I'm an asshole, but ultimately I give a shit about my husband and his mental and physical well-being and there is no way I will let him get hurt with his ...
I wanted to write yesterday, of course I did, but a drive into DC and getting lost around traffic detours made it one of those days that left me without the right words--I cannot believe anyone would torture themselves to purposely try to drive and get anywhere around DC, but apparently those trucker dudes felt differently. [I understand a few of my readers think my profanity is a turn-off so I won't be doing that unless it is absolutely necessary then], but it was a day where profanity spilled out of both of our mouths just trying to get home.
I also started the day at my waxer--another pro-tip from me to you--if you are getting open heart surgery, and especially if you are a woman--get a bikini wax. You don't have to go full Brazilian, but for me it's the only choice because both sides of my groin have been messed with already and the tape getting caught up in pubic hair is not a win at all. If you can afford it and want a perfect experience with the tape, an arm wax would also be helpful--it just makes it easier on everyone in finding the veins ...
