Man I have found it difficult to be a better person on my own. Self-discipline isn't one of my strong suits, hence I haven't been able to force much change on my own. I am not entirely stubborn, I am just someone who has learned the joys of doing whatever the fuck I want at any given time. I mean that in its entirety and within reason. Though some of you might not find it entirely agreeable or reasonable to just pick up and leave the place I am as many times as I have done, I consider it a strong suit and one of my better qualities, the ability to adapt almost effortlessly, though maybe that's something I had when I was a bit younger than I am now. Right now I am suffering from a get off my lawn hatred of the world, you know that kind of irrational hate everyone who gets in your spaceness that I think can happen to everyone at points. I really do have a serious disgust with much of humanity as a general statement, but that's because I feel a lot of people aren't getting it at all.
In any ...
Man it is sometimes very hard to find sane places to rest your head. Inside books seems to somehow safer than many places we get exposed to, but even then I hate having to go pick through them sometimes. This is an absurd thing to say I realize and makes me also realize I need to get down to the library. On the tv front I have found myself watching things like the Biggest Loser, because heroes clearly aren't being found in the normal places anymore. It's either that or deep fantasy shows like say, Locke and Key, because they bring a sense of magic we clearly get to forget about as adults. It's just base level escapism, because the true reality of where we are in terms of our culture and civilization isn't entirely enviable. We are a pretty bastardized version of what could be good humanity, with a ton of people looking to be the next social victim and a lot of people also rejecting that as well and doing the victimizing.
At this point I feel pretty lucky to have what is a really carefree existence at this moment. Sometimes I get lost in the ...
I have half-written maybe 4 different postings over the past week on everything from my wedding anniversary and income increases since 2017 and honestly, it's been hard to push the post button when it's usually a situation of attention span. We have this giant tv. It is huge 72 inches and right now it's playing Moving Art on Netflix and it's not 4K, but geeze world. I have this idea for a business plan to help alleviate these needs, but I did read something earlier that suggested that people addicted to social media including the internet, instagram and the other stuff have brains similar to drug addicts. That is why I do the painting and printmaking classes I do right now. I was working in a purely technical aspect of travel, booking and helping people with their tours all over the world, spoke over the phone, never saw anyone. And to be honest I don't care that much about the never seeing anyone areas though there's a missing element of human connection I suppose. Most days it is nobody but maybe Duke's doggy friends or just Don, on Skype. I go to the grocery store frequently because I ...
