I did sing that, as I often sing little phrases like an idiot. You can make everything into a song if you just try a little. The interesting thing about that is I like to do it, but fuck anyone else who tries to do that. I like my own soundtrack and lyric set--and really absolutely hate musicals. There's nothing worse to me than someone else's interpretation of the simplest moments. I guess I am just realizing as I write this. I really do not do not like musicals. The last one I saw was Spamalot on Broadway like 15 years ago now, which I admit was cute but even still I couldn't tell you a single thing about it right now. Like not a single thing at all that's how forgettable people's singing experiences are when it comes to those. I should not hate them as much as I do, but I just do.
So I feel a bit bit better now though you sometimes wonder is it allergies or coronavirus? I guess I will have to start wearing my mask out there out there, but I think er, hope, that any throat irritation is the result of ...
For the past few years I have gone back and forth over declarations of health and well-being. These declarations are completely internal of course, but on occasion mention of them has slipped out at points. And I think a lot of us have these vices that are clearly not great for us, but they are vices so there is the understanding they might not be the best way to spend your time or efforts. I want to be a better person, hell that is something I am constantly trying to do with all of the reading I do. Sometimes I end up not being better and sometimes just more in the know which has its ups and its downs and positives and negatives. Right now I am trying my best to stop drinking which is not really a big problem I have anymore though this week I did take care of two bottles of rose. Yeah, I know a week to do it but ultimately when you drink you are left more exhausted and easily exasperated with the world. Less apt to want to get up, and less apt to be able to if you're not sober.
At the ...
Man the panic is thick out there and the only thing we all have is we are all in it together. I am sick to my stomach as well because Don is far away and I have no absolute control over anything, including the people he runs into all the time. I am suddenly regretting not taking more selfies with him but we were never that couple but I hope to see him soon. His state has far less cases than this one but that doesn't mean shit when I am inside waiting for him by Skype every day and I cannot see what he does and who he comes into contact with--not that I am some super controlling person, but I think the temptation is less prevalent when there's me as a distraction clearly. I did send him a bunch of food so let's hope that helps him avoid contact with the public at large. I did make him get a shower head for his skin and water is filtered that he drinks so I did all I could. Ugh. But the waiting is what I hate. I am sickly lonely enough to want to see him ...
