pro-tip for the dying

I have no idea why I went looking for mortality rates for people with the defective gene I have, but I did. And I already seem to have beaten the mean age of death (think it's 36). Now, I am always the person up for a challenge, the person trying to prove people wrong, the person seeking facts to support my viewpoint. I constantly comment on social media articles with links to other articles to support my assertions, but something about seeing that number written down kind of fucked me up. I mean, JESUS of COURSE I am dying young, but it's literally only over the past few weeks where I see the light for the life, and I feel a slight bewildered and yes, a tiny bit hopeless seeing those numbers on paper. It's like, shit....I am most assuredly winding down and my opportunities to get what I thought life would be able to lend me are definitely slipping through my fingers.

I am not giving up, no, but with the information out there, I am an anomaly already with the sheer number of dissections and strokes I have survived. And the brain is where I have ...