Quiet from my end is not always a sign of great things, but I have been writing content for my other things, as mentioned before in passing. Right now I am living on the edge, people--no health insurance to speak of, and the money he and I made last year means no consideration for medicaid. Having $20k laying around to pay for medical insurance, nahhh. Right now we are at our 3 month mark--what we have will carry us for 3 months and I have my little backup 401k I am kinda waiting to drain out--this would be if he finds no work by December. I did make him watch a bunch of overly prepared camping videos--meaning people who solved some of the worst problems through some pretty fancy inventions.
This time my backup plan doesn't involve anyone else but Don...and of course the Duke. We have a Parks Pass, tent, mattress, some stuff to make it not so horrible. And ultimately if we do have to be homeless we don't have to be like slumming it homeless. We will be State or National Park homeless which is a hell of a lot safer than city homeless. This is ...
I tried to call this morning to check on that little thing sitting in my uterus. Lo and behold there are no options for women who have no health insurance to get lesions in their uterus removed. The clinic I called was nice enough--they would be charging me $300 for my first appointment to discuss the ultrasound scan I had and then the next steps, mentioned possible hospital surgery, which you know is when I want to turn on my heel and run. I still have a lump in each breast I should get removed, but like most things that happen to me medically, it has to get in line behind the heart issues, and ultimately I just don't have the patience or tolerance to put myself through surgeries that are not absolutely necessary. In June I had my period twice, and it's set to get me again in a week--so the 7th through the 14th I had it, got a small break and ta da--got me again on the 20th and disappeared this past Friday. I might have to get used to two periods a month, as it is pretty much the only thing I can do ...
So I gotta say, for someone not on anxiety medication or taking any other pyschoactive substance I guess aside from marijuana, it does suck to once again know I have a broken heart again. It's the thing I am trying not to let dominate my thoughts, but when I was sitting in bed earlier with my hands falling asleep, I realize I have had that happen a few times over the past few weeks. Then there is the sometimes sharp pain I have felt for a minute I usually coach myself out of terrorizing myself further because it is the wrong time given I have no health insurance in 5 days.
I told the surgeon I wasn't ready to do it now because of insurance, but ultimately I need to get it done so if I can hold off until next Spring...they are doing the next scan in December--so it's either I have 6 months or a year or 16 years to live, maybe. Though you gotta admit the positives to waiting might exceed the negatives, though clearly the valve could get worse and make the replacement even more complicated. All I know is he said it was ...
