I’m afraid I can see the End

Hmmm. I think the thing that people like me struggle with sometimes is this idea that you go through shit like I have to be some extraordinary human being, some person people are going to reminisce as some conqueror of giants or something bigger than themselves, just ordinary. It puts this incredible burden on a person to have to try and be someone people have something to say about. That idea that people go through shit never complaining, you know those stories you always read about the sickest people overcoming their fear of everything and exiting this life fearless, always brave and comforting that they somehow went out peacefully. I can admit I don't plan on going out peacefully, though I have felt the heavy burden of illness upon my shoulder lately. this pressing need to get shit done before I die and leave nothing worth notating beyond a splattering of words across a few years with no real fucking practice present. Just occasional exercise I suppose.

That's what I have to leave aside from brief meetings with some of you, some of you have burned yourselves into me in ways that make me appreciate knowing that so many people ...