just work a little harder to get out of hate with myself

I've been sitting in between the space of a few things. It's a little uncomfortable, but not a lot is comfortable in the grand context of my existence. I feel not real, not entirely visible, a kind of atomized version of who I felt I once was. I stay inside a lot. A terrible lot considering the space I've had in my life the last two months to really spread my wings out and fly. You can't fly on a paper airplane without any change in your pocket, though. And so I am invisible, nobody sees me, I've got no ability to really participate in life that much, mostly because my own stupidity in losing the title of my car has rendered me car-less, the last small bits of my freedom stuck behind several hundred dollars worth of fees that I won't even have to pay off until I am several weeks into my job. That bit has made things a little less interesting and I can admit the motivation to do nothing aside from worry and wonder and hope my way out of the situation has kind of rendered me a little paralyzed. Not kind of, exclusively and extensively ...