Man oh man...I think we are all at a loss for words these days a lot of the time. I mean...look around you--what IS there to say a lot of the time But...yeah, it's okay, it will get better. I have been struggling with my attempts to right the wrong my life has turned me towards--the wrong of not having enough, of feeling like you owe everyone all of the time. The wrong of feeling like...being alive sometimes is not enough at all, people. Sometimes being alive is just an endless cycle of Groundhog's Day, and yes, I mean the movie...if we are not moving towards something what on earth are we even doing but subsisting, existing, just sitting?
Progress I am barely making. I have set up payment plans with the world but the hospital is still suing ME for what my insurance wouldn't pay. I have no idea how to feel about it, but I can tell you...in the time Don and I have been together I have been to three weddings and all have children and are working on more and JFC I can't even manage my student loan or a nice apartment, or my god the indulgence ...
Interesting news in my world recently. The mystery of what caused my aorta to explode apparently has been solved--and it's very docile name is ACTA2
I was a little disappointed to hear that from the geneticist's nurse the other day when I finally talked to her about my test results, which were taken a few months ago now, I suppose. The found a genetic marker in ACTA 2--which as you may have clicked above,
"The ACTA2 gene provides instructions for making a protein called smooth muscle alpha (α)-2 actin, which is part of the actin protein family. Actin proteins are important for cell movement and the tensing (contraction) of muscles.
Smooth muscle α-2 actin is found in smooth muscle cells. Smooth muscles line the internal organs, including the blood vessels, stomach, and intestines. Within smooth muscle cells, smooth muscle α-2 actin forms the core of structures called sarcomeres, which are necessary for muscles to contract. Smooth muscles contract and relax as part of their normal function without being consciously controlled.
Layers of smooth muscle cells are found in the walls of the arteries, which are blood vessels that carry blood from the heart to the rest of the body. Smooth muscle α-2 ...
Something Good
Wow the world is rife with a lot of outrage, deserved and dished out...but a puppy. A puppy is a friend forever. Don and I were considering giving Duke another friend...but now that I am in love with LA and need to leave Denver, well....that might not be the best plan. But I am guilty of that enough that I am actually OK with that.
I have been toying with turning this whole thing back to what it was supposed to be--heart surgery discussions, etc etc--a sort of network of people who've had their sternums cracked...and then leave myself scattered in a different blog direction. You should all know I have websites still--though many are now gone.
But check the article on the puppies out guys. My friends at http://www.ddfl.org/ would luff you for it.
x
