pro-tip for the dying

I have no idea why I went looking for mortality rates for people with the defective gene I have, but I did. And I already seem to have beaten the mean age of death (think it’s 36). Now, I am always the person up for a challenge, the person trying to prove people wrong, the…

when things happen…for the better

You know, it’s been pretty damn hard for me to rationalize the great betrayal that happened a few years ago now. To get legitimately thrown away and ignored was not a thing that was easy for me to stomach and I have had wavering feelings of forgiveness and hate which have kept me steady in…

changing and changing

Things have changed a bit over the past week. Don is doing really well in his job, is liked and has a lot to contribute to the work they are doing. I have honestly never heard him so hopeful and happy, probably ever before. Where he is, there is no time to smoke cigarettes, nor…

it was my birthday. surprise!

My birthday was Monday. I am not sure it was an aortaversary–that might have been yesterday given I was in surgery on my birthday and woke up several days later. This was year 24.I am not particularly nostalgic with time, anniversaries, even birthdays I suck with, my own and others. Being nostalgic for time is…

vlogging yeah so that’s happening

Alright party animals, I mean friends of the internet. It is happening soon, the thing I promised for so long. Why now? Well Don did something cool and set me up with a fantastic setup for that thing, above. Man I will tell you what, seeing yourself on camera was not something I have practiced…

the thing that’s true is everything changes when you do

I say that often enough. You want things to change, change something about what you are doing. Usually things change with us with the interrupting of another person’s actions into our lives, as a lot of stuff probably up until now appeared like it was just set up to inconvenience when I should realize things…

cooperation and survival…

Man that migraine yesterday got me thinking about my own paths of thought and getting control again of those directions and reflections. I’ve realized my brain has had the three strokes, and those were just the ones I know about–obviously there might be other tiny spots of black sprinkled in there. I almost convinced myself…

the overload is my overloading

Sometimes shit gets out of hand, and sometimes you have no goddamn hope. It’s the way it is sometimes in this life and I am no stranger to the highs and lows. Certainly not everything has been shit, though outcomes sometimes tend to be, but I fucking try every day and I have been busting…

wage garnishment for medical bills

Man. Life is a mean motherfucker for sure. I am contemplating if killing myself now or later would be the better option. I certainly won’t survive menopause and if I do, likely with brain damage. The strokes, the strokes. The fact that I am somewhat brain fuzzy on shit already kind of leads us all…

I am the bobber here, keeping sanity afloat

I am trying my best to manifest my luck and numbers to help us do the things I want to do in this new sales job. I believe I have it, something that helps push forward my energies right now. I think life has better things in store for both of us, though getting Don…


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