white bread wanderings and smash fingered typing
I keep promising I will construct this mini mantra of sorts…
On one hand we have a pretty empty appartment, needing a good cleaning. The other, a sick little belly. Then there’s Eddie, who keeps calling and calling and calling and apparently needs some humiliation in terms of a beating, which he actually asked me for. He also asked if he could clean my appartment, but naked. These little slaves chasing me around is kind of disturbing. He swirls into town perhaps once every two weeks or so, and I swear, he only comes here to see if I will actually show up for these drink dates I haphazardly agree to.
Then there’s Brandon, who just socked my heart against the wall so bad it fucking hurts to even think about it. Ahh, the joys of sifting through the boys in the online dating catalog. I’m kind of over it. Though I continue to get modeling jobs, albeit unprofessional, they are still jobs. That is how I have been surviving. Eating my pretty little face almost daily. That’s 3 possible jobs in 5 days. Oh well. I need to make some fucking money off my little face while it’s still pretty bon bitty. And. I did finally quit smoking smigarettahs yesterday. Oh, I know I’ve said this before. But this time it’s important. Good health and taking care of myself is what I need to focus on from now on. Which involves exercising the bullshit out of my life. Brandon I pretty much have as a hands off friend. Valerie aka Francis is going to get an email on her long voyage abroad asking her to pack her shit and remove herself. She is in the house too much to leave it this fucking messy. And even still, it just sucks not to have my appartment, my space to myself. When that’s what the fucking point of me living here was. Get your own fucking space so that you could be free of roommates. Something I needed to do. And need to do.
Last night I hung at Union Square in Manhattan with Jerome, whom did a special for the learning channel because of his unique experiences in branding and cuttings. In the circle, there were these kids spinning fire, juggling, riding unicycles and doing this good interpretive dance with all these circus toys. The air was perfect, and I started to feel whole again, something I have not really experienced in months.
We took these gothy, street, church, low light shots that were really cool. Check his freaking page out, which has his work linked off his site…
Anyways. I’m going to get to the fucking beach one of these days. Any beach house havers volunteers?
Things will get better. I’m getting off the computer. I won’t be back till later on after I train at this new bar..
rock out.
