when winning is shutting the fuck up sometimes
I left Facebook a week or so ago now as Don told me it would make me a better person not to argue with rednecks. And yeah, he is right, though my natural inclination is to believe that the perspectives I brought to the conversation were sometimes new or maybe made people think a bit more deeply about an issue. And maybe that is true. One thing I have recognized in myself over the past several days is my need to scream. Not audibly, mind you, but I definitely need a place to vent my confusion as to what the hell happened to the morons in this country as their decision-making skills I have literally no confidence in. So, as I was staring into the dark this morning I realized I have more than a few articles I am prepared to write, and one other project that definitely needs legs.
One article is the city vs country people and how fucking insane it is that Don works out there in hateful land, you know, the places where people who don’t get along with people and don’t want to get along live in infamy–letting their threat of being shot the greeting they leave at the entrances to their properties. Those people have reiterated several times they WANT a civil war, or really what they want is to shoot a bunch of city-dwellers because they are absolute pieces of shit who can’t get along with anyone, and honestly SHOULD be forgotten because they are just as good as Trump, garbage cans of human beings. Those supposedly good church-going people are just terrible human beings who do not live close to people because they are just shit people. They have an entirely different reality than the rest of us–consuming Fox news as gospel and totally ignorant as to how electing a billionaire would solve their problems. The food boxes they feed to people on Indian reservations they want to give food stamp recipients? NEVER reported on FOX. Just like they didn’t report the fact that the Trump administration wants to help the rich that much more by letting them decide what tips you get. NEVER reported on FOX. And when they take away medicare and social security, you better believe, NOT a fucking peep on FOX.
So I have hundreds of Tshirts and the ability to screen print them all. I told Don I could come up with a Tshirt a day if it came down to it–TRUMP–BECAUSE TRUSTING A BILLIONAIRE TO SOLVE PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS ALWAYS WORKED. TRUMP-BECAUSE HE IS SMARTER THAN ME AND I DON’T WANT MY SOCIAL SECURITY, TRUMP, BECAUSE I HATE MORE OF YOU THAN I LOVE, JUST LIKE HIM. America-where our president exhibits the best we have to offer–a bunch of pussy grabbing citizens who don’t pay their bills and call people who call them out names.
I think you can smell what I am stepping in and I am right. Maybe it will help me get rid of the $60k student loan still haunting me. The hospital has to get in line because, oh well, I am not made of any money, period.
Oh and the birth family are still also garbage cans of human beings. It is going into March and they haven’t done anything in my old apartment, YET. Pretty interesting since they just couldn’t find the space to give me more than 30 days because they are dickhead liars who really didn’t have any rush on it, but wanted to prove a point, I guess? They can burn in hell where they belong, because they are also not A quality people but lumped in right there with the Trump voters I despise. I have no idea how they can feel justified doing that, but you know that people find the reasons to support their view points. I just look at the facts and recognize my life is actually way better without that shit to contend with–clearly a lot happened in that space of 15,16 years we were communicating, but there is something to be said for people who have no reason to have any investment in you aside from general nostalgia. I am sick to death of being someone’s nostalgic token of whatever when they literally don’t give a fuck about me. And so that is why I will find nary a reason to deal with that vindictive angle. Don keeps telling me we should go see my grandmother but there is a chance of running into other relations which is not something I care to do. The Whore Foods she works at is not far from where we live but I would rather never go in there than deal with the potential of seeing someone who inspires enough hurt that I would really rather shelve the whole bookcase of memories rather than reignite the fight. I have no energy to invest in anything that does not serve me in a positive light. And we should all live by that rule, honestly. It would serve us all a lot more than putting up with people who make you feel worse about who you are.
Oh and also tra la la–no cell phone in over a month. You remember my face, right? Yeah. I mentioned what I did once and it is still eh. I will be doing a progression of healing with the products I am working with–ARBONNE,btw. Younique has a handle on makeup because honestly–their pigments and finishes–LEGIT. But the skincare Arbonne has down. I will show you as even without the cell phone I am going to be using Don’s. That blood blister is still a giant scab with stitches embedded in it. But–might have another week left as I am not sure you can dig stitches out from underneath a scab. At this point I trust myself to remove them as this would be the second time stitches have been used in the same wound–and the last time I ended up with a problem, and really–cutting thread is pretty rudimentary stuff at the end of the day.
Not having the cell phone never hurt me but I know I am in the minority. I still am present everywhere I go and am, and will NEVER let that thing have all of my attention again.
