The Great Puppy Return and other things
I got the dog back the other day. Well, a week ago. I suppose there wasn’t much urgency to tell you all, given I am not sure who the fuck constitutes “you all” or even if that encompasses a scope beyond one or two. At one point I felt I had an audience though I was happy to be able to moderate any trolls out and keep things fairly light.
I have been failing, falling more into myself over the past few years, certain realizations sinking in, some settling more heavily on my soul and deeply into the center of me. I am not comfortable with some, namely my own poverty guiding, rather blocking, so many things that still hurt me, make me feel insecure about everything. At this point the insecurity is not directly related to any homelessness since I am living in the apartment building of my mother–but it is with other things.
After seeing what this woman thought was appropriate behavior, I don’t even know what to think about people, but I can say my experience with Colorado people has left me largely cold and unimpressed. Not to say anyone owes me any state of being impressed, but I am left largely with no imprints of people (literally impression-less), and the ones I do get are flashes of humanity, largely missing from a population like this. I am alone, we are alone, and things are not comfortable at all. It’s not me people, it’s all of you.
This woman (the puppy owner) thought it would be okay to keep Duke after she came to pick him up. She thought it was somehow justifiable, that she was somehow entitled to keep our dog because she thought he should be rightfully hers. After getting taken from her as a puppy and being unable to afford to get him out of the pound, he was adopted out and ended up with us two steps later. We had him for over a year and she wasn’t about to budge until I took extreme measures, which I always despise doing, and yes, that meant the police. The police managed to do in 2 hours what I couldn’t do in 4 days. First, it was get a response at all, given she refused to do the right thing and call. Wouldn’t tell me anything. But the cop did tell me they would issue an warrant for her arrest for theft of property, which was a little more intimidating than my nice questions about the welfare of my dog. I suppose instead of the fifth option, the police should be in the top two, but what an asshole of a woman would do something so shitty to another human being because her entitled ass thought she could, yes, be a dick, and get away with it.
I’m out of love with humanity in general, unimpressed with anything aside from my own unending freaking misery. I am trying to work some things out now, and I suppose that’s obvious. I wish more of you were more competent and empathetic, I wish more of you gave a shit about more real things.
It makes me want to get away, and I mean get away from everyone.
Well…back to the point, the dog’s home and I am never letting him out of my sight again. I wonder the lesson this was supposed to imprint on me, because the only GOOD thing was that the cops proved to be to be effective at doing their jobs faster than I ever thought possible. The nights of sleeplessness, the tears, the literal pain in my chest–not cool at all. But if it’s purpose was to teach me all cops aren’t tools but maybe should be called first when dealing with them…well, there’s a win for everyone!
Ugh.
