contemplative expletive..fuck this hit or miss
so i was thinkin, yes, that i need to get the fuck off this shit..start new and rebuild myself..maybe an oversimplification of sorts..no forum. etc etc…i am holey tired and my nose keeps crusting up and leaving me with soreness and all that other bullshit.
this no smoking thing is driving me crazy in that #1, I work in a muthafuckin bar, yo. and #2 the smell sticks to everything..
In the meantime, I am trying not to let my heart get outta whack and go freakin nutso so I can live a longer healthier life..which means no chicken to eat (too many freakin antibiotics and hormones)..sick really.. I was watching discovery this morning at like 6 am and watched this show with a buncha 80 year olds who had less invasive and terrible cirucmstances than me, at 25. The thing that scares the shit out of me, and has always kept me in line, is that death, for me, is like a matter of when and not an if. For all my dreams have said, it’s 83. GO medical advancement. One thing that scares me a bit is the whole idea of whether or not I could even get a transplant because there’s a bit missing to attach that shit to…I think I need to breeeeaaaatheeee..and not freak out about this just yet.
who knows what anything or anyone is supposed to mean. most of the time I am so sure of what the fuck is going on. Right now, I wish I didn’t care. I don’t wanna find myself giving a shit in a situation that is all just miss instead of hit or miss.
My I’m sick I need to clean my fucking appartment project is proceeding along ok.
Today, I need to pay my fees for my suspended license, get hair dye, see what the hell is wrong with my car (newly purchased might I add), continue the clean, and just fuckin chill…too much in so little time makes a pretty girl just whine whine whine..
suckit
fuckit
