Caricatures of Envy
I don’t quite know how I am going to tie my title to a relevant post, but I just like the flow of the words…I suppose many of us may prove to be caricatures of envy, wondering how we got skipped over when things were being allocated, but honestly I have no quick reference to tie that into anything that screams truth to me. I suppose I may seem envious of others who may seem to have it easier, envious of certain life circumstances I cannot participate in (babies, weddings, things that aren’t really indicative of much aside from certainly not suffering from a lack of money or resources)–but I don’t want to be anyone but me. I suppose sometimes I’ve said many people seem to find some solace in knowing they are not me, but I think I am pretty fucking fantastic, so whatever, world. Suck it.
I wouldn’t want to be anyone but me because I wouldn’t know how–and I have tried at times to shirk certain fixations, tried to erase my concern–but it’s not something I can do with any great success (say F the world, it’s all about me). That MAY make me totally stupid in many circles, or it may just be the most human parts of me, but something happened to me the past several years–to the point where I have become increasingly political and very concerned with observing what the fuck is wrong with the way things work in this day and age. And truly the biggest impetus for terrible behavior is just greed and a refusal to put oneself in another’s shoes, and sometimes even if we try, we have no real experience living in the other’s shoes, we just think we know based on whatever caricture or idea we have of another person’s life. Many times we are just wrong, and that would be totally expected–but people don’t even try anymore. The minute you have a thing to say about it, the minute the insults go flying–things that crack me up like “whiny liberal”, and all manner of hurried insults which have been manifested through late night twitter rants and Fox news feeds. I can say I will readily hurl Trump supporter out to anyone I see has no grasp on reality or even the base level behavior to participate in a social democracy where it’s not all about you or your bottom line.
I feel in many ways we as a country have become immune to empathy, we certainly embrace apathy, but not if it’s “all about me.” So we are at a juncture where it is easy to see the apathetic do not have the ability to be empathetic, but if the nature of their drive is entirely egotistic, it may be something worth considering. Hence we are just really awful human beings en masse–with some being truly deplorable, and some being truly charitable–not necessarily with money, because the nature of money is adaptable and sometimes does more harm than good–but with love and time and consideration. Sadly, much like many people I’ve been speaking with (not many of course)–I don’t find it easy to trust the motives of much of the population any longer. I thought we were all in it together, but much of that was an image, not anything close to anything real, but an idea perpetuated on the myth that America is the best ever.
And yeah–you all know how we don’t top the scales in anything truly remarkable when it comes to successful societies. We treat our poor like dirt, our education system is not number one at all, the healthcare we receive is not number one, and the things we probably are number one at are not the things we cherish as Americans. We probably have more hate groups registered than any other country–wouldn’t that be something to be proud of, right? But I think that might be the easiest number one thing to find, oh, aside from us having what, 4% of the world’s population, but close to 25% of its prisoners in prison? Prison is a nasty little ponzi scheme, criminal behavior assured by your politicans when they sold us out to the prison complex, ensuring a guaranteed population of criminal behavior, charging for the space even if their quota of criminal behavior hasn’t been met…Imagine that, right?
Ugh…telling you the stupidity of the world is sometimes enough to wonder why the fuck any of us try…
Oh, and day 2 no drink, major success. We will make that today too given D has to go to work from 2pm-2am…yesssss…
