for two noteworthy events
maybe not two. but one.
broken into two
outside of the normal. I get to sing Thursday, too.
And I have been thinking more about people's obsessions in being defined by "who you know".
like I care, Like I give a fuck who you know
what party you are invited to
who fuckin sucks your dick to get a "gig"
I wanna know
who you are, what makes you tick, what makes you scream
what makes you believe
I hate icons, and despite whatever bedding it makes for your bank
I don't give a fuck. Being an icon removes all humanity, all chance to really be understood. because you stop being a person, then
you then become a star fucker or someone who stars while getting fucked
Who wants to. who asks to. I never cared.
I wanna know what makes you bleed. I wanna know what you perceive. I wanna know where it all goes
when you lay your head down at night. maybe alone. maybe dreaming.
maybe they all think of nothing
I like being human. mortal. immortal assholes end up being a bad book, a bad, dusty cd in the garage of some other asshole, or someone who wants ...
home improvement to clean up, to organize, to something ize my life. sean "the tool man Taylor" has helped me change the door hinges today. we have accomplished much. in fact, I have felt a severe need, desire to really fuck my shit up (aka fix it up). I was too disorganized to ever really be anywhere on time, my life was too cluttered to really give a shit or be able to include anyone else in it. Slowly I have been re-vamping it all and making the time and effort to be on time, to give a shit, to just fucking grow up. so my appartment is well on it's way to being more than a disorganized mess. I'm painting my bedroom tomorrow.
and on the match note. I met one guy. One. despite the pleas and communications from several hundred needy seeds, I have decided it doesn't fuckin matter. I need a set of batteries. a vibrator. and the friends that have proven themselves to be worthy. nothing else. people are transient motherfuckers that sometimes don't understand the simple action of picking up the phone. that shit is coming down. soon-like
and my friend lee's having his friend lisa take ...
I decided my presumption that crazy motherfuckers get more love, and the right kind, too isn't too good to be true.
I have decided to play someone that I am not. Crazy jealous bonkers nutball fuckin zoink brain that won't let anyone talk to girls if they are with me. The quote "if you're with me, then you're with me and I don't want anybody else" seems a bit lax don't you think?
I have also decided that people who change their clocks back to summer time and pretend they have somewhere to go can also suck my fucking ass.
All is not well in deanna land and I am feeling slightly taken for granted in my personal and work environments. But, oh well. FUck them.
I have also come to terms with the fact or idea that maybe I don't know where it's going all the time. I always had no issues, nor lack of confidence when it came to confidence in the sack. I have usually shown evidence of being a ball of sexual energy compressed into the body that is mine with men generally coming back for more, but hey. Recent evidence may or may not show that sometimes, the kind ...
