I know, I know, who would want to be dead of something that has a 99.9% survival rate?
Well, let's think about that a minute. Is surviving enough if you are left with a good possibility of early onset Alzheimers, or strokes? Is surviving enough to be neurologically impaired or lose your full kidney function or suffer heart damage? Is surviving in a further damaged state when you have already experienced the worst of what that does without the virus?
No, it's not, and I am not well right now at all. I need this surgery but there is no amount of any help at all that seems to be getting me this vaccine. I could probably fly to Colorado and get it faster than I will here, and I am simply not going to check myself into any hospital consciously without getting the vaccine. Especially when I am hearing such and such Virginia hospital had over a dozen people die because the hospital did not follow CDC guidelines. Granted, this is not the hospital likely to do my surgery, but honestly--if you can't trust healthcare to listen to the CDC, who can you ...
One thing about not smoking weed is your dreams come back with a vengeance. I am not totally prepared for them, as I am pretty sure when you are dreaming in sequential order from youth to current, it might be a sign of things to come. Right now I am in my mid-twenties dreaming, I've already done a chunk of my early 20's so I am kind of crawling back through dreams that have been sitting my in brain for the past few decades.
I've tried and tried to get this damn vaccine, but it appears people older than me are getting ahead of me in line, even with less or no health issues, we are prioritizing people who have already been graced with long lives to get chances my genes have ensured I will never get close to at all. I am not asserting we should sacrifice our elderly, no, but there should be some common sense used in some of this vaccine allocation, as right now I'm a slight worried I am going to die waiting for my turn. And the longer I am forced to wait, the greater likelihood there is I will need to ...
Well let's admit, it wasn't a waste in every sense, just in my time. Right now I am kind of losing my shit, trying my best to keep myself calm, while also conspiring to have a plan.
I haven't been able to pay any medical bills because we aren't able to save a bit with how expensive the East Coast is. Granted me not working doesn't help, no it absolutely doesn't, and I guess my semi-retirement plan needs an undo button of sorts. If you don't remember I quit my job almost 16 months ago because I was stressed out, and my BP was through the roof trying to manage the expectations my job had for me in terms of being accountable for every second after working for years without a complaint. I had already had a blood clot that summer and it seemed like the right time to step away. Now, I have NEVER done that, you know, had the space to do that given my precarious health condition has required that I keep health insurance at the forefront of every decision. So, yeah, I kind of fucked around for a bit, pretended I was free, took ...
