I am sure many of you saw in the news the great and fabulous and lovely message that vaccinated people do not have to wear masks. I am sure it gave many of you hope, I mean yes, it is a hopeful message, but for someone like me, it felt like a giant nail in my own coffin. I did not get the call yesterday, and I expect my slip of paper was promptly thrown in the trash with my sad story.
So I went in and edited my record with the thing I did not want to manifest by acknowledging it is an issue, because you'd think the litany of issues I have already SHOULD be enough for me to get the damn vaccine so I can ensure the other problem is countered as much as I can manage. So, yup, had to indicate the cancer that is currently manifesting inside my uterus IS an issue. But honestly--I have been so avoiding that revelation because at some point, fucking enough is ENOUGH. The procedure I was recommended to get a few months helps to remove cancer and hopefully not allow it to progress, but I honestly have ...
I swear--the worry and the shit I am doing to myself freaking out about this vaccine process is probably sending me to an early grave with each moment I sit focused on getting it. I know, I've mentioned I know I am lucky to live this long and I know I won't be here forever but I've always been one to kind of rely on myself to keep myself alive, and it seems pretty damn unfair that I have literally done EVERYTHING I can to do that and it's going to be someone else's carelessness which might get me killed. Hell, if my husband and I have avoided infection even with all the death around him and me going to the grocery, dentist and doctors as much as I have, then yes, it is sometimes carelessness that got some people infected and killed. Sometimes it was their own, sure, sometimes it wasn't, but if you were as careful as I have been, you SHOULD be okay. You certainly wouldn't go admit yourself to any clinics or hospitals without that vaccine to protect yourself if you didn't want to get it. And that is why I am where I ...
This is probably going to hurt your feelings to realize, but in America, at least, it is the only thing that seems to be able to define a person. The haves, the have-nots. The do you have enough money to live, the do you need to go into debt to do it, the do you have the cash to be listened to?
I went to the dentist yesterday and had to call Don, crying of course, because my tooth, well, my teeth, rather, are absolute shit and just another money pit that is me. The one tooth I had the pain about is just going to be a tooth that causes me pain in my cranium as its the same tooth that has been haunting me for the past several years. Apparently it is a root canal where the root is re-growing or trying to reconnect itself, as it were, to the feeling parts of my face or skull. I can't really remember all the specifics as I have now had 3 different dentists refer me to a specialist for it, but the last time I remember looking at the XRAY to see a squirrely part of the nerve ...
