I read an article the other day that really hit home about a man who had spent a few years in isolation and how he lost sense of himself because he never talked to anyone at all after being offered a cheap place to live far and away from everyone. Apparently his closest neighbor was several miles away and he spent nearly two years away from even talking to any other human being. There was the idea that you lose sense of who you are not seeing yourself reflected in those around you. Perhaps you don't really exist if nobody else acknowledges you, perhaps you don't matter if you are invisible.
I think I've been falling down a slow decline for many years. I am an invisible creature, moving in and around other people sometimes, but I rarely, if ever, talk to anyone. And when I mean talk, I mean more than just general pleasantries, more than the polite transactions that occur weaving through your daily life. I speak to Don, sure. I have many conversations with myself in my head, but they are often mean, critical and really obnoxious cruel and chiding things that leave me feeling worse ...
Today I turned 44. I started writing some epic post about how I was in surgery 25 years ago. How I almost died, how I have had to repeat it 7 times, and the experience is to be repeated again, supposedly soon.
Soon is anytime before 10 years or so. At that point I am good, I will be older then, and obviously there will be less of my brain left that might remain unaffected by the fuzziness that plagues my vision sometimes.
Today I went downtown to Alexandria. I walked back and forth. My pink hair was out. I was wearing a pretty sweet black bodysuit with cutouts. It was a bit hot for what I was wearing at the time for most of the walk, but I don't think I have the sunblock on as I should.
I bought 4 of the same damn cupcakes. The girl behind the counter was not too excited to be there. I left her a few bucks and some of the change as things right now are tough. I still wish I got 4 different flavors vs an expectation given they were like 4 bucks a piece which is a lot insane. ...
Hmmm. So sorry kids. I know I owe so much more to this website and my others. I have been building the meat of the other project I have mentioned--the coronabalona. I am on twitter, there, though I have neglected the one I had registered for this. I feel a bigger urgency in educating the public on some factors we probably all need to be aware of coming up on voting in what will be mere weeks.
Still, I am corona-free. I had Alyse and Ben come visit a few weeks ago and took some less than stellar precautions out with them that made me feel like I needed to sit quiet before announcing I am still corona-free--it's one of those things you DON'T want to gloat about without absolutely certainty, as I sometimes like to remind people on right wing comment boards when they heartily exclaim "I don't know one person who had or has had corona." It seems like the thing you exclaim right before it invades your family and leaves you despondent. But we went out to a restaurant INDOORS, no less, as it was raining here in Virginia, something that does happen with some ...
