alcohol and ozone don’t mix

Published October 30th, 2020 in 2020 | No Comments »

I've had an itchy throat for a week because of the ozone machine. It's in the bathroom, see, a solution Don came up with because he's been trying to quit smoking, and in a community where that's banned, it was the best way to cover up the smell. I know, I have the Medify filters, but they don't do well when you're smoking in the same room. So he got the thing, which yes, produces ozone as he told me that's what casinos use to cover up that musty air and smoke. It does work, and makes rooms smell like chlorine and chemicals, something I don't particularly adore. We've fought about that a few times because he's used to to deodorize the closets, mostly due to stinky shoes. I can absolutely smell it, it's not an organic smell to me, though it is probably made of organic elements, I just hate it.

We got wine drunk as we often do last Saturday, and he had the thing running--it created a nice little irritation in my throat, something that swelled up and caused me to hack for a good half hour after. I got mad at him, and trying ...

Category: 2020

The gay boys are ALWAYS the best

Published October 29th, 2020 in 2020 | No Comments »

If I think back over my life over the past two decades, I can honestly say the people who have had the most positive impact on my social life have always ALWAYS been the gay boys. Meeting Bjorn in the PATH train that day about 2 decades ago was a life changer and the way I met him was HELPING him. He and Heidi had no cash and my pockets were full of dollar bills because I was bartending at the time. After asking the station if anyone had any change to help them, I just gave me the dollars to get on the train. It wasn't a lot as the train was a buck each way and I just gave it to them as a result, no change necessary. I ended up going home with them to Bjorn and George's apartment that night and though the night ended up with me pretty damn high (that was my NYC/NJ intro to weed) and me thinking for a good half hour they were vampires (he's a funny guy), that meeting changed my entire life. Even now he is one of the only consistent people I have any communication with ...

Category: 2020

self pity works for 30 seconds at a time

Published October 28th, 2020 in 2020 | No Comments »

So maybe it took more than thirty seconds to write that last post. So maybe I have been feeling like a garbage can full of nothing for a long time. The point is I am definitely someone who has not hit her high. I am absolutely someone who hasn't achieved anything close to her full potential because I have barely even attempted it.

Fear of success? Nah. Fear of failure, ehh. Hard to say. At this point I am realizing I spend a great deal of time trying to improve the lives of other people and I have done that for years and years. I did it with my birth mother by renovating that building so she had free time to spend with my sister's children and stop working at a grocery store. I have done it with friends and I have done it with Don. Very rarely have I felt like I should spend the same time on myself because it seemed as if I owed other people over myself. I know I have written and maybe alluded to this in my past, but I am fucking terrible at looking at my life's problems with the same problem ...

Category: 2020

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