I have been realizing some comforts I have been able to take in getting older and realizing I am closer now to an end after all this time. I have finally decided I am comfortable in my own skin. A lot of this has been helped along by Don's acceptance of me and everything that comes along with me. He has always made me feel like I am wanted and pretty and all the things everyone wants to feel--always has even when he is mad at me. So I have started not wearing bras more often than I ever think to wear them, which is actually a huge breakthrough for me, because I know padded bras and bras with too much boob for my entire life. Now I am like, whatever, people. I never had children and have a smaller chest anyways so I am still standing up. All those years I spent trying to be bigger were a waste anyways because who the hell cares--bras hurt and when you've had as many surgeries as I have had--there must be some damage from all of the underwires I wore because I had no boobs to speak of--the things ...
I have started writing every single day this week but inevitably I get distracted or too tired to finish out the day right. I start these thoughts and file them away into the until next time and sometimes next next time them until later and sometimes revisit or completely abandon them. You'd wonder how all these have starts would read, maybe when I'm dead, maybe then.
So--the diet is going. It's going okay but I am not AS great as I would like just yet--probably because I have not forced any accountability at this point which I do have to do because I am starting to see there is a definite correlation with nutrition and health. I got my INR this week--however the night before I did eat a load of broccoli so overdid the pomegranate juice. They told me to cut it with the pomegranate juice but for me it's something that makes to continue provided it is WITH the broccoli or spinach or kale given I believe in moderate amounts the benefits far outweigh the negatives given the issue with dying is the whole recurrence thing. I might lose my liver or some other pertinent organ ...
It really is becoming a problem, finding hope in this world we live in right now. Not sure if I have mentioned this, but I keep my news reading pretty varied so I can see the spin on stories or lack of reporting, that is, depending on readership. I have no idea why more people do not do this, it's like there's a piece of people's brains that require them to sit inside echo chambers full of their own ideas, and any intrusion of an opposing though will make them shut down and not even. I mean--I do have a lot of critique of the conservative party because people neglect to see the rich and select few governing and setting up rules for the many to benefit those select few--money is the first and only American value, after all. It's hard not to be critical of a government catering to the whims of the few to affect so many. But I read far left far right and some things in the middle to keep me pretty well-versed in the conversations. It is why I know what each side is missing in its servings of reality.
So I read these ...
