the thing that’s true is everything changes when you do

I say that often enough. You want things to change, change something about what you are doing. Usually things change with us with the interrupting of another person’s actions into our lives, as a lot of stuff probably up until now appeared like it was just set up to inconvenience when I should realize things…

cooperation and survival…

Man that migraine yesterday got me thinking about my own paths of thought and getting control again of those directions and reflections. I’ve realized my brain has had the three strokes, and those were just the ones I know about–obviously there might be other tiny spots of black sprinkled in there. I almost convinced myself…

the overload is my overloading

Sometimes shit gets out of hand, and sometimes you have no goddamn hope. It’s the way it is sometimes in this life and I am no stranger to the highs and lows. Certainly not everything has been shit, though outcomes sometimes tend to be, but I fucking try every day and I have been busting…

wage garnishment for medical bills

Man. Life is a mean motherfucker for sure. I am contemplating if killing myself now or later would be the better option. I certainly won’t survive menopause and if I do, likely with brain damage. The strokes, the strokes. The fact that I am somewhat brain fuzzy on shit already kind of leads us all…

I am the bobber here, keeping sanity afloat

I am trying my best to manifest my luck and numbers to help us do the things I want to do in this new sales job. I believe I have it, something that helps push forward my energies right now. I think life has better things in store for both of us, though getting Don…

I really need to be better

I have like 7 drafts, half-written, hidden inside here I have typed over the past few weeks. But I have also been busy, as I tend to spend my time a lot better than I did previous to this job switch. I think that as a person I became a little too accustomed to being…

lines to cross and slop

holy crap. I have realized my patience with the world is slipping almost daily it seems sometimes, but I think a lot of that is this hostility I seem to harbor while driving, and I am really trying to work that out.Another group I have kind of concentrated a little of my scorn for are…

fission and the vision

Progress regress movement all the time. That’s kind of what you hope for a life, but the past few years things have been a little stagnant in the fort complex apartment community I have lived in and I am just done. The whole almost dying again thing kind of made that a little more urgent–and…

until 42…

I have been realizing some comforts I have been able to take in getting older and realizing I am closer now to an end after all this time. I have finally decided I am comfortable in my own skin. A lot of this has been helped along by Don’s acceptance of me and everything that…

sunday wonderdays

I have started writing every single day this week but inevitably I get distracted or too tired to finish out the day right. I start these thoughts and file them away into the until next time and sometimes next next time them until later and sometimes revisit or completely abandon them. You’d wonder how all…


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