So the musical jump kinda got me going a bit yesterday but I didn't do a few things on the list and kinda did the thing on the list I didn't even mention I wanted to be doing the first few days of this week. So I got done writing and thought, shit. I need to make that damn food I promised Don. He eats things like hot pockets and toaster oven pizza and I had mentioned I would make him some food as that is something I have a talent for, and pack it up and mail it off. So I made a meatball orzo roasted broccoli thing I kind of combined a few recipes to get, and a red lentil soup with spinach and turmeric that was pretty delicious and I threw some of my leftover Mediterranean quinoa so it would be more something in the bite. I am a texture queen, I need a few and usually something spicy or with some bite so I chopped up a bit of yellow onion to throw on the lentil quinoa goodness. Now I have to make some zucchini muffins and other stuff but frozen cubes of soup ...
Man I have found it difficult to be a better person on my own. Self-discipline isn't one of my strong suits, hence I haven't been able to force much change on my own. I am not entirely stubborn, I am just someone who has learned the joys of doing whatever the fuck I want at any given time. I mean that in its entirety and within reason. Though some of you might not find it entirely agreeable or reasonable to just pick up and leave the place I am as many times as I have done, I consider it a strong suit and one of my better qualities, the ability to adapt almost effortlessly, though maybe that's something I had when I was a bit younger than I am now. Right now I am suffering from a get off my lawn hatred of the world, you know that kind of irrational hate everyone who gets in your spaceness that I think can happen to everyone at points. I really do have a serious disgust with much of humanity as a general statement, but that's because I feel a lot of people aren't getting it at all.
In any ...
Man it is sometimes very hard to find sane places to rest your head. Inside books seems to somehow safer than many places we get exposed to, but even then I hate having to go pick through them sometimes. This is an absurd thing to say I realize and makes me also realize I need to get down to the library. On the tv front I have found myself watching things like the Biggest Loser, because heroes clearly aren't being found in the normal places anymore. It's either that or deep fantasy shows like say, Locke and Key, because they bring a sense of magic we clearly get to forget about as adults. It's just base level escapism, because the true reality of where we are in terms of our culture and civilization isn't entirely enviable. We are a pretty bastardized version of what could be good humanity, with a ton of people looking to be the next social victim and a lot of people also rejecting that as well and doing the victimizing.
At this point I feel pretty lucky to have what is a really carefree existence at this moment. Sometimes I get lost in the ...
