repetition feeds the hurt

Well world...your lessons are a little fucked up lately. Not thrilled with the things running through my head. I tend to be a little bit of a masochist in some ways--I read that damn letter over and over and thought...with all that happened this year and the time spent here in spurts that something could have been said with some kind of urgency. Something could have been said, period. I suppose one of the aspects I have noticed of my mother's personality is her inability to stand up for herself or ask for what she wanted and needed, which always aggravated me. I suppose this little thing could be seen as progress that way. Progress is progress, even if it involves kicking someone in the face, I suppose. I am trying to fill my head with other things than the things that have been coming. I am sure repeatedly reading the letter didn't help that too much because all I can say is--the person that wrote this is angry, the tone is super hostile and neglects to acknowledge the ability of her to be absent for years here was facilitated by us managing things. Our window is broken though clearly we ...